Car Troubles?

Rain has a very strong, earthy scent to me. Sometimes it smells like how a headache feels. And for reasons unknown to me, it always draws me back to my first car, a Jeep Cherokee, which was the love of my life, even though it had about 6,000 problems with it. 

That car is what my mother would call a "hoopdie" which is slang for a car that is basically just a hunk of junk on wheels. But it was mine and I loved it dearly. I didn't do many favors for it either. Between scratching it on a fence, having the radiator bust, and having the brakes completely break, I wasn't exactly the most gentle caregiver. But it did the job and got me to and from school. And I miss driving it around town. It was no pride of mine, but simply my second home. I kept second pairs of shoes and various other clothing options just in case I was situation that called for a quick change of clothing, you know, like a superhero. 

I loved driving it. But I did not like driving other people around in it. It made a lot of noises that I was able to tune out but often scared my passengers. They'd be like, "is your car supposed to make that sound?" And I'd have to reassure them that even though it sounded like animals were clawing their way through the inside of my car, it was just the engine doing it's thang. Nothing to worry about. 

I miss my car now that I'm stuck here without one. When I was sad or needed to think, I would often jump in my car and go for drives. Maybe I'd even cry in the car. It was just nice to have alone time, and I loved being able to dictate where I was going to go. Here, I can't go more than a few miles on foot. And forget about public transportation. I don't just want to be moving, I want to be doing the moving. You know, if that makes sense to you. 

Another thing I didn't realize I would miss until I couldn't do it anymore is singing in the car. I really miss belting out hardcore in the car. I sounded good. At least I thought I did. Jamming out to 98.7 or 100.3 Jack FM (playing what YOU want), oh those were the good days. Now anytime I want to sing, I have to make sure my roommate is gone. I also make sure my door is shut and locked, and I still don't even sing that loud. Sorry about it, but I'm super embarrassed by my singing. 

I don't miss traffic, and I don't miss commuting across town to try and hop from my mom's house to my dad's house. I don't miss stressful drives in the morning or long drives at night when all I want more than anything is to be home and NOT IN THE CAR.

But there's a reason why parents put their babies in the car to try and lull them to sleep. There's a reason it works. Being in the car is peaceful man, and right now, I'm counting down the days until I'm back in my hoopdie, praying that it would break down, and rocking out to oldies on the radio. 

Big Bend National Park (I'm tired I can't think of anything good)

"Guys give me something to write about. What do I miss about Texas?"
"The grass!"
"The dirt!"

For this post I was honestly thinking about going down the easy Buzzfeed-esque route I like so much.
"Huh, maybe today I will make a list where I rank all my family members in order of how much I like them. But that also makes no sense."
Nah, I'll spare you that awful blog post that might make an appearance in the future if I absolutely run out of things from Texas I miss.
Let's get down to nature.
I don't know if you guys know this place, but it's called Big Bend National Park. Yes, I too thought this was the clock in England the first time I heard it. But alas, it is not the big clock from England.

Thanks

So Big Bend National Park is this super large, protected area of land that covers about 801,163 acres in South Texas. Like South-west Texas (think Rio Grande and Mexico!!) Anyway it's super beautiful and it's also super fun to go camping there.

Santa Elena Canyon

I've been camping here about four times. I came the first time with my dad and a bunch of his friends when I was about ten years old. It was super boring because I was the only kid there and I was too young to appreciate the raw beauty of it. Plus we only stayed like three days.

That is a picture of me and my dad chilling in some sleeping bags because it gets super freaking cold in November, which is also the month we go camping in. So anyway, the first time was sort of lame and I was like, I guess it's okay because I can climb rocks but all this sitting around the fire by myself stuff is kind of butt.

We went again a year later. This time my dad's best friend since elementary school came with us. He brought his daughter, Ashley, with him. Ashely was usually my friend out of proximity. She was a year and a half older than me but we still got along and talked. We also brought my cousin, Jamey, with us. Jamey was four years older and also a boy. So naturally Ashley had a crush on him almost instantaneously. And he of course was naturally uninterested and also a little embarrassed. My job was to relay messages between them.

There we are again. I have almost the same haircut. It is slightly better. But only slightly. Whatever, this trip proved way more fun, also I was older, so therefore more wiser and able to enjoy the hiking and nature stuff. Plus this was the year I learned the art of rock stacking. Which is just where you get a bunch of little rocks and try and balance them on top of each other. It's crazy fun and looks super cool. Like a message an alien would send.

Not as cool as I remember it looking

We went again two years later. 

By then I was a teenager. This type of camping was fun, but I wanted more independence and time on my own. I started hiking the trails by myself more. The easy stuff, nothing too dangerous or too long. I just wanted time to think and to take in the landscape. It's not a lot of color, and everything looks dry. But I always liked how untouched by man it was. 

We went one last time a few years ago. My junior year. I remember that time because my dad had brought my step-mom with us. We also brought my other cousin, Jayla, with us. She's a year younger than me but we're super close. William came along too, but he brought his wife and Ashley and her boyfriend. 

There was a lot of tension that trip. I think I remember something along the lines of William smoking pot with his wife and Ashley and her boyfriend, and I don't think my step-mom approved. I honestly don't know the full story. All I know is that trip was my absolute favorite one. Even though I was way older and I had missed most of my Thanksgiving break to come do this camping trip, I didn't really mind it. Even though there was weird tension and we brought way too much stuff with us, I'm glad I went. 

My dad and I had been not as close as of late and I felt that coming on this trip was a really nice way to connect with him. We hiked together and we talked, not argued, which at that point, we had been doing a lot of. It was really nice to have my cousin there also, because she's great and also because I almost fell off a giant rock and she caught me before I felt to a certain broken-arm future

Last Picture

So I guess this week, considering how groovy the weather has been, I'm just missing the vibes of hiking. Of eating chili that tastes like heaven because it's super duper cold and you haven't eaten since that bologna sandwich. And I especially miss all the funny stories that I come home with. Because something funny always happens. 

I'm not sure when I'll get to go hiking here again. I'm sure soon since I don't like to go too many years between Big Bend visits. Camping is good for the soul. Especially Texan camping.

Here's the thing, this week I'm not really missing Texas. The weather has been nice, we only have like sevenish weeks left of school, and I'm able to go running again. So like, I'm pretty good here. Yeah sure, I haven't seen my parents since January and I sort of miss them, and yeah, I can't wait to see my old school friends at the end of May. But for the moment, Penn State is keeping me occupied. So this week, instead of focusing on what I miss about Texas, I've decided to write about what I don't miss about Texas. Haha Plot twist.

Texas isn't perfect, it's far from perfect. I spent the better part of my life wishing for the day I could leave Texas and never go back. So here's a list of things that I don't miss about Texas

1. Traffic.

Wow if you feel me raise your hand. In highschool, every morning of my senior year, I spent an hour in the morning driving to school, and an hour in the afternoon driving back from it.  I remember my head falling to the side, eyes closing, as I drowned in the background noise of sports radio. And I'm a pretty optimistic person, I try and look at things with a good attitude. So I would try and lie to myself. I would say, oh I like traffic, it gives me time to think. Time to be alone and listen to music. But that's a lie. I don't like traffic. Nobody likes traffic. It sucks. And Dallas always has traffic. And I'm the kind of person that never leaves enough time to get somewhere if traffic is bad. So if I hit it and I'm supposed to be at work in fifteen minutes, the entire time I'm just one ball of stress trying to get there one time.
Oh Traffic, how I loathe thee.

2. Cowboy Boots
We don't all ride horses. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I think the last time I rode a horse was when I turned eight and got it into my head that a horse-back riding birthday party was what I wanted. It was cool but honestly not even the best part of my birthday that year.

So we don't horseback ride. And yet, cowboy boots are a staple in every girl and boy's closet. How many themed-events did I go to that needed cowboy boots? Too many too count. And did I ever invest in a pair of really uncomfortable, really not my style footwear? No because I'm not a poser and I hate cowboy boots. I don't like the way I look in them and I don't like how everyone has a pair. It's just so Texan. It makes me want to heave.

3. Not getting to pick the music in the car
This is such a weird and specific thing but it's absolutely true. I never get to pick music if I'm riding in anyone else's car. Sometimes I don't even get to choose in my car. My friends and family basically strong-arm control of the radio dials and very rarely do I get to choose what tunes I want to play. While I do admit being in charge of the background music holds an important job, I think I'd be up for the task if given the opportunity.

Ha ha, 90 points if you can guess what that botched attempt at a reference is from. Yesterday, I saw a rainbow lighting up the sky and I thought, wow, it's gonna be spring!!!
Eh, sort of, because then today it was snowing dandruff. 
Well, at least it's gonna be March!

I know I already talked about weather for one of my posts, so this is not going to be a post about Texas weather, but specifically about how much I miss spring time in Texas right now, as I wait patiently for Pennsylvania to reward me for putting up with its winter season. It's the whole seasonal vibe. 

The only spring I can remember hating was in the 7th grade when I got put on academic probation by my headmistress and I wasn't allowed to play softball. You may ask yourself, how does a twelve year old get put on academic probation? You know because middle school matters so much in the long run. Probably had something to do with my To Kill a Mockingbird Project, which was just a poster-board that I drew lots of mockingbirds on. I didn't really understand the assignment. 

But every spring since then, I have absolutely loved. I mentioned that I played softball four sentences ago. Ah yes, softball=spring. It's one of the few sports I've ever excelled at. I've been playing it for years, since I was about nine. And you know how some families have a certain sport that they gravitate around? My family gravitates around softball. Everyone in my family plays. Even my step-brother. 

I remember in the 8th grade, I was the short-stop. Oh those days. I remember this time I caught the ball with my backhand and the crowd was cheering. I remember playing it up a little bit, because I did not think I was going to get the ball. Divine intervention. The sun was in my eyes, I couldn't see a GD thing. I just stuck my glove out, and I miraculously caught it. Of course I didn't tell anyone that. My dad asked me, "Did you mean to do that?" And I go, "Duh, I'm the shortstop, it's kind of my job."

Another spring that sticks out in my mind? Tenth grade. My friend got her license at the very beginning of March. I discovered a lot of my favorite bands in her car that year. I remember the time she kidnapped me from my house and told me we were going to the movies. We did not go to the movies. She took me to the neighborhood of this boy she liked and we stalked his house for two hours. She cried most of the two hours because he didn't like her and thought she was weird, and I said it was probably because she did stuff like this. We were listening to this album, Crazy for You, by Best Coast, for the the first time. A band that is forever my favorite now, and I always smile a little when I listen to them because I remember comforting my friend and making her laugh even though she was so sad about this dumb boy who is still dumb to this day.

Last spring was pretty phenomenal too. Did I have a blast at prom even though I hated my dress and forgot to bring a bra to the afterparty so I was stuck wearing a friend of mine's 'sticky-boobs'? Heck yeah. Will my reign as captain of the softball team go down in history (*similar to the Queen of England, I was simply a figurehead, but whatever)? You bet your lunch money it will. Did I get into college? I DON'T KNOW, DID I?
I mean, you guys all graduated from high-school too, right? Best moment of my life. Walking across the stage, hearing cheers and the satisfyingly loud bellows from blow-horns that aren't and never will be allowed at these ceremonies (who follows that rule? nerds?) from some friends of mine. Taking pictures with everyone you've ever been sort of friends with. I even got a picture with my high-school crush. Thems the small victories.

And then going to our graduation party later that night. I had work the following morning, but I didn't want to sleep that night. My friend and I went straight from our graduation party to a friend's house and then after that, we just walked around his neighborhood with blankets on our shoulders, laughing and crying. Well she was crying, as per usual. She cries a lot. At about six in the morning we decided to take a quick nap in her car. I was so exhausted at work later that day, but it was worth it.

The funny thing is that I won't spend another spring in Texas for about four years. Maybe even longer, depending on what I decide to do after graduation. I'm still trying to decide if working on a cruise ship will be as fun as it sounds. Hey maybe later in life, instead of missing spring time in Texas, I'll miss springtime in Pennsylvania. Who knows? I don't!